A verse that keeps coming back to me whenever I reflect on my life is Galatians 5:16-17.
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.
For I see in my life an immense struggle. I constantly let myself down, and it’s not because I don’t know what I should be. I have a Church, a Bible, a Christian Family, and a Christian education. All of these teach me how I should live. But, if I have such a clear idea of right and wrong (by this I mean the little day to day things...there are gray areas in life but if we gave most choices a little thought or sought a little counsel, the answer should become quite apparent) then why is it that I end up cursing myself, my own stupidity? I know what it is that I desire and yet I let a thousand small desires pull me down. The fact that this frustration has happened every day of my existence is disheartening.
But of course, there are good times too. There are wonderful concerts, there are essays that seem to write themselves, the satisfaction of an early morning, and the thrill of helping an eager peer. There are also a thousand little successes that bring me joy and encouragement every day.
But there is something that seems irreconcilable here. How can I experience so much joy and success in my endeavours, and yet constantly be brought down by constant short comings, by desires that spring from within?
John Calvin points out that an unredeemed life keeps oscillating back and forth between pride and despair. I see where he is coming from. These two competing forces never reconcile, leaving me sometimes fully confident, sometimes convinced that I will never overcome myself. This oscillation is very wearying.
But Plantinga points out that God’s redemption, correctly viewed, should give us security. If we surrender our life to God, accepting His inevitable, unstoppable redemptive plan for his world, we can take solace that the right wins. If I can see the triumphant conclusion that God is working, I am given reason to peel myself off the floor after failing yet again.
The beautiful thing about redemption is that by surrendering our will to God’s redemptive power, we also surrender any credit, any pride that we could take in our successes. Our successes become God’s successes. Our failures and successes absolutely disappear when we surrender them to the working of God’s will for his world. Because that is one mission we can be sure will not fail.
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Your post reminds me of Romans 7:15-20, 25
ReplyDelete"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it [...] So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.